Few weeks back ,one of my Instagram follower messaged me and asked a sort of personal question.But I thought, if I don’t make a noise about it ,well it will remain as a conversation between two people only.
The question was : How am I managing with only one child ,doesn’t Arthi asks for a sibling ?.
Because she is also facing the same problem of being asked the same question.
Well ,I am aware many of you must have gone through this ridiculous question.Guess what guys ,I have been told that we are being slow in making babies too.Every married women faces the same problem but on different degree.
First of all ,before being so judgemental ,why is it so hard for people to understand people feelings ?.Have you guy’s ever thought how’d the other person feel before you ask or label them with whatever assumption you created in your mind ?.Never.
Try being in other’s shoes first.
Before you ask anyone anything ,ask them if they are happy ?.
Okay back to our topic.
When she asked me this question ,the first thing that came to my mind was : I definitely should blog about this.So here I am.
We have created a custom among us that ,if a couple is married ,they should have kids.If they don’t have ,they should try for one ,if they have one they should have try for more.If you ask why ,the reason’s will be absurd.
No one bothered to ask ,how the parent’s are coping with raising a kid ,are they mentally okay.All they bothered to ask is “any good news” ?.
Well ,having kids is not a culture thing.It depends on the individual.Who are we to judge who want to have more kids and who doesn’t want to have kids ?.
We came into this world as a single soul and we leave from this rented place as a single soul too.Instead of being happy within ourselves ,we have been told to find for happiness from others.We have been told to be dependent onto others to survive in this world.
When a child is born ,the child is expected to be dependent on the parent’s ,then the siblings ,relatives ,friends and then the entire world for every other thing.Well ,materialistically is fine but the is expected to seek emotional support from other’s too.
Rewind back to your younger day’s guys.
When you are bored ,find someone to play to with ,you are sad ,you find someone to cheer you up, you are sick ,you need to cuddle with someone.And once you become an adult ,you need to sustain yourself ,then work for someone else.You were told to find someone else for your own emotional support.It’s your emotion ,don’t you think you need your own self to support your own emotion.
I am not saying you don’t need people around you but ,those people are just a support system when you face certain hurdles in your life ,for them to help you out with their own experiences.
Who told you that ,an only child is a bored ,lonely and spoilt brat ?.And who told you that those born with siblings around are emotionally stable children.Everyone faces different set of problems in their own life.
I have seen those with siblings ,don’t talk to each other and those without siblings have an entire world to go to.It’s not about how many children we give birth to ,it’s mainly how humanly we bring them up.
Personally ,Kanesh and I are trying for another child.If it happens ,we will be happy ,if it doesn’t we will be happy too.What upset’s us most is people’s assumptions.The saddest thing is ,none of them will go and ask or give suggestions to the husband ,it has always been the wife.
When you are being there not only physically but also emotionally involved with a child ,and teach them the exact thing they need to learn to survive in this world ,they don’t need to be dependent on anyone else but just themselves.
As for Arthi ,she has us as her best friends, she has our family ,our friends as pillar of strength and mainly she is happy being herself because we are teaching her to love herself.She is finding happiness through herself and spreading in onto other’s.Don’t you think that’s how all of us should be ?.And that is one of the thing I learned from her.
Being happy within.