Kindergaten’s are starting back after a long MCO break.I am feeling excited and also gloomy because we both (me and arthi) have to wake up early in the morning.Yes we are lazy bum’s.We will be missing our lazy mornings too *haiz*.
And guys ,can you all believe that Arthi will be entering primary 1 next year.She will be 7 years old next year and my heart really wants her to stop growing already *sob sob*.
Many of you guys might have read my previous posts regarding mine and Arthi’s mother – daughter relationship.But this time I planned to write something related to parenting.
Well ,let me bring you all back to my memory lane.My parent’s ,especially my mom ,used to be a very strict mother.When it comes to our education and our behaviour ,she was a mom-ster.And my dad was very strict on our disciplines too ,he doesn’t really care about our exam marks but his concern is always on our overall behaviour .One of his advice when we failed in our exam’s were “the important thing in life is not exam marks but your discipline“.
As a child ,I used to be this curious kid ,I am still being so too *hehehe*.So ,whenever my parent’s say ,don’t do certain things ,that’s when I will purposely do to find out why they told me not to do.Always a curious kid who questions and tries finding answers by disobeying house rules.
And I am seeing Arthi behaving exactly like me ,this curious kid who loves to asks alot of questions.It’s like the universe is giving me a chance to do things differently from my parent’s.It’s always about learning right ?.
Okay,welcome back from my memory lane.
When I was pregnant ,me and my sister used to have conversations about parenting ,that once we become parents ,we shouldn’t be like the common strict mother’s and also not a too cool parent’s either.If the kid makes mistake ,talk it out nicely and settle the problems instead of screaming and punishing.Well ,we secretly wished our parent’s were like that earlier too.They became a friend after I had a kid.
After few years of having Arthi ,we both were becoming more like friends instead of the “strict mom and obeying daughter”.We both share a lot of similarity in our thoughts and I recently found out that our life’s purpose on this earth is also same.We are best partner’s in crime and Kanesh is like our baby-sitter.
Although ,I am trying hard not to keep up with “old parenting” style.My programming always makes me to behave as how my parent’s used to behave on certain issues.
Recently ,my sister recorded a video of me teaching my daughter.When I were watching the video ,it actually reminded me of my mom teaching us.It usually ended up in tears, screams and rattan whacking.And the other day when my mom saw Arthi reciting multiplication table without me shouting ,she realised that she could have taught us in a calmer way.
Well ,I don’t blame them for being a strict parents.It was their way of showing love ,and I found a new way :).I am being me because of my parent’s ,a great honour to be their child.
I am not telling that I am fully aware of my behaviour as a mom ,I am trying to create a better version of me through Arthi.If I am going to repeat the same way my parent’s brought us up ,I will be getting the same result ,Arthi will be the same me ,or worse than me because I am changing her life’s journey.We parent’s are only guidance for the kids ,we shouldn’t make them to live our dreams.
We are actually being the parent’s we don’t want to be without realising.Create awareness to yourself and you will mould a better human for the future world.
“One generation full of deeply loving parent’s would change the brain of the next generation ,and with that ,the world” -Charles Raison-